When a baby enters the world, the parents are most often elated and filled with images of a ahappy, well-adjusted child. But children occasionally run into problems, and sometimes their fears are the root of these problem.
Infant Anxiety and Fear
It is normal for infants to experience anxiety when separated from parents, especially when they are around 8,13,18 and 24 months of age. Children must gradually learn that when parents leave, they do return. This is a major step in infant intellectual development. It does not make you a horrible parent if your child cries as you leave! Playing peek-a-boo is one way to get an infant used to a parent vanishing. The infant eventually learns to move the paper or scarf you use to cover your face to bring you back.
Infants have three basic innate fears: of sudden motion, of loud or abrupt noises, and of sudden approach. Toddlers and preschoolers gradually outgrow these as they learn to interpret their environment and to develop a sense of trust. But as they grow older they will experience other kinds of fears. Parents need to understand that fear is usually outgrown.
Common Fears
As a child grows, different fears may be noticed at different times. Some are very specific to an age, such as fear of falling for the 1-year-old. A bad experience falling as the child begins to walk may affect future attempts to walk. According to Schacter & McCauley, the most common childhood fears are:
Fears have a variety of symptoms, ranging from loud crying to nightmares to a withdrawal from certain activities. For example, bedtime fear might be appar-ent with an increase in nightmares. A fear of rejection might result in a withdrawal from activities and people. Fears can be found at a variety of ages, including adulthood.
Fluid and Fixed Fears
Researchers distinguish between fluid and fixed fears. A fluid fear is one that comes and goes. If the fear changes from week to week or remains for a limited period and begins to fade away, it can be considered normal. A fixed fear is one that remains or may even intensify. Fixed fears may require a lot of patience to work through, and may even require special attention from a professional.
Key Contributors To Fear
What factors contribute to children's early fears? Two key factors to consider are maturity level and emotional suspectibility.
Research shows that 25 percent of fears in 2-year-olds were caused by loud noises, while only 3 percent of 12-year-olds had these fears. Children outgrow some fears but become more emotionally susceptible to others. For example, fear of strangers may decline as a fear of monsters rises.
Ages 2 to 4
A 2-year-old is better organized and more secure than an infant. A 2-year-old may fear the dark, a bath, thunder and lightning, toilet training, loud noises, animals, doctors, strangers or separation. Three-year-olds may continue this list and add a fear of people or animals with an unusual appearance. Four-year-olds may add the fear of loss of a parent or loss of control.
Age 5
Between ages 4 and 5 children are often unpredictable in their behavior, but 5 is not a real fear-filled age. At this age, children's fears become more concrete or real. They fear such things as bodily harm, falling, dogs, dark, death, and mom or dad not returning home.
Death
Death is considered merely a separation by a child younger than 5. For a child around age 5, death becomes more personal: death is someone who carries others off. When a child understands death isn't just sleeping, he will ask, "Will I die?" At that time the child has a sense of vulnerability.
A parent needs to answer honestly and directly, assur-ing him that he need not be overly concerned. Use your moral and religious beliefs. Do not generalize that old people just die. Ask what the child is feeling inside and let her know she did not cause the death. A pet's death is often a child's first loss experience. Set the tone for honesty and allow the child to express his feelings.
Encourage questions, and don't be embarrassed by children's candid comments. Express what you are feeling in terms they will understand. Avoid euphemisms and statements such as, "Grandpa is in a deep sleep," or "was laid to rest." This is confusing to children. Be honest. "Grandpa died because his heart stopped beating." "Susie died because the seat belt was not used and her body was badly hurt in the car accident."
Funerals
If a child is going to the funeral, simply state you are going to say goodbye. Inform the child that many people will be sad and will be missing the person, so people may be crying and that's OK. A child under age 5 should not be expected to understand or behave appropriately at funerals.
Beyond Age 5
The list of fears remains an important guide after age 5. The child now has a more concrete intellectual capacity. This means he can begin to determine what is real and what is not. When a child is young it is important to lay the groundwork for responding to his fears in a positive, supporting manner. This positive and supportive approach will continue to help the child face many situations throughout his development.
School-age children are beginning to realize that they can work through fears or learn to cope in positive ways. They recognize that they will outgrow them and that fears do not have to immobilize them. Call on your child to use her strengths to deal with her fears. Once a child has this sense of mastery, he can recall it for assistance in mastering new territory
It is normal for infants to experience anxiety when separated from parents, especially when they are around 8,13,18 and 24 months of age. Children must gradually learn that when parents leave, they do return. This is a major step in infant intellectual development. It does not make you a horrible parent if your child cries as you leave! Playing peek-a-boo is one way to get an infant used to a parent vanishing. The infant eventually learns to move the paper or scarf you use to cover your face to bring you back.
Infants have three basic innate fears: of sudden motion, of loud or abrupt noises, and of sudden approach. Toddlers and preschoolers gradually outgrow these as they learn to interpret their environment and to develop a sense of trust. But as they grow older they will experience other kinds of fears. Parents need to understand that fear is usually outgrown.
Common Fears
As a child grows, different fears may be noticed at different times. Some are very specific to an age, such as fear of falling for the 1-year-old. A bad experience falling as the child begins to walk may affect future attempts to walk. According to Schacter & McCauley, the most common childhood fears are:
Fears have a variety of symptoms, ranging from loud crying to nightmares to a withdrawal from certain activities. For example, bedtime fear might be appar-ent with an increase in nightmares. A fear of rejection might result in a withdrawal from activities and people. Fears can be found at a variety of ages, including adulthood.
Fluid and Fixed Fears
Researchers distinguish between fluid and fixed fears. A fluid fear is one that comes and goes. If the fear changes from week to week or remains for a limited period and begins to fade away, it can be considered normal. A fixed fear is one that remains or may even intensify. Fixed fears may require a lot of patience to work through, and may even require special attention from a professional.
Key Contributors To Fear
What factors contribute to children's early fears? Two key factors to consider are maturity level and emotional suspectibility.
Research shows that 25 percent of fears in 2-year-olds were caused by loud noises, while only 3 percent of 12-year-olds had these fears. Children outgrow some fears but become more emotionally susceptible to others. For example, fear of strangers may decline as a fear of monsters rises.
Ages 2 to 4
A 2-year-old is better organized and more secure than an infant. A 2-year-old may fear the dark, a bath, thunder and lightning, toilet training, loud noises, animals, doctors, strangers or separation. Three-year-olds may continue this list and add a fear of people or animals with an unusual appearance. Four-year-olds may add the fear of loss of a parent or loss of control.
Age 5
Between ages 4 and 5 children are often unpredictable in their behavior, but 5 is not a real fear-filled age. At this age, children's fears become more concrete or real. They fear such things as bodily harm, falling, dogs, dark, death, and mom or dad not returning home.
Death
Death is considered merely a separation by a child younger than 5. For a child around age 5, death becomes more personal: death is someone who carries others off. When a child understands death isn't just sleeping, he will ask, "Will I die?" At that time the child has a sense of vulnerability.
A parent needs to answer honestly and directly, assur-ing him that he need not be overly concerned. Use your moral and religious beliefs. Do not generalize that old people just die. Ask what the child is feeling inside and let her know she did not cause the death. A pet's death is often a child's first loss experience. Set the tone for honesty and allow the child to express his feelings.
Encourage questions, and don't be embarrassed by children's candid comments. Express what you are feeling in terms they will understand. Avoid euphemisms and statements such as, "Grandpa is in a deep sleep," or "was laid to rest." This is confusing to children. Be honest. "Grandpa died because his heart stopped beating." "Susie died because the seat belt was not used and her body was badly hurt in the car accident."
Funerals
If a child is going to the funeral, simply state you are going to say goodbye. Inform the child that many people will be sad and will be missing the person, so people may be crying and that's OK. A child under age 5 should not be expected to understand or behave appropriately at funerals.
Beyond Age 5
The list of fears remains an important guide after age 5. The child now has a more concrete intellectual capacity. This means he can begin to determine what is real and what is not. When a child is young it is important to lay the groundwork for responding to his fears in a positive, supporting manner. This positive and supportive approach will continue to help the child face many situations throughout his development.
School-age children are beginning to realize that they can work through fears or learn to cope in positive ways. They recognize that they will outgrow them and that fears do not have to immobilize them. Call on your child to use her strengths to deal with her fears. Once a child has this sense of mastery, he can recall it for assistance in mastering new territory
Fear of strangers
Stranger anxiety is a related issue. A child who develops an attachment to a parent or significant family member may show stronger anxiety toward unknown people or even toward a grandparent who is infrequently visited. This does not mean the child doesn't like Grandma or Grandpa. It means the child feels safe with some people and needs more time to slowly accept others. Stranger anxiety is normal for a developing and loved child. Around 8 to 10 months of age the child is learning that objects and people are different from herself. Out of sight is no longer out of mind as the child remembers faces.
What is under the bed ?
Teratophobia- fear of monsters or deformed people
Fear of losing momIf children are separated from their parents for an extensive time -- for instance due to hospitalization, death or divorce -- anxiety can lead to childhood depression. Children do need continued, caring relationships in familiar surroundings. If circumstances force separation in your family, consulting with a pediatrician or child/family therapist would be helpful. Such separations can lead to guilt feelings for the parents, but if dealt with early most can be successfully managed.
Fear of wolves
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Fear of the water
If your child is afraid of the water you must understand they got that fear somewhere
Fairy Tales
Children fears the school
Thater fairy tales
The fear of clowns that the children are experiencing is called Coulrophobia, which is the fear of clowns and mimes.With children under five years old, it’s very difficult for you to reason away fear. It’s better to acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that you would not put them in any danger.
Respect your child's fears !!!
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